its not stalking. its research.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
