He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize