He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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