I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dick very happy bro
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
‎"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
