I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
