Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
and you fell through a lawn chair
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
