You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Of course I have a pirate flag
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
