Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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