I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
soo... how was my night?
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