whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
