She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
