Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
