He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
