just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
