Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
