i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
