how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
