i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
