this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
