whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize