did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
