He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
