I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
home. puking in laundry basket.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
