Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
