VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
