I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
