That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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