I have demons in me.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Randomize
