I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize