Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
