It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
