a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize