i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
