Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
