At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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