Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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