Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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