she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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