...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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