Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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