i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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