Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize