You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
