Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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