remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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