the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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