yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
