I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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