I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
No subtext here. People are naked.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
