Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
