it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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