Where are you?
In a non slutty way
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
