Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
