I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
