I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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