In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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