No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
