We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
