My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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