Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
