Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
